Tuesday, 6 October 2009

The Fear

Show of hands please, for those of you who have seen He's Just Not That Into You.  For all you guys, you are such liars!  Lol I'm willing to bet a fair amount of money lots and lots of you have seen it.  Anyway, that's not my point.  The reason I'm referring to the movie is for a little thing Mr Justin Long said.  His character was talking to this girl and was saying how we all have a little part of ourselves that wait just that bit longer to pay a bill, too meet a deadline, just for the thrill of the risk.  We like it.  We love it.  It's scary.  It's fun.  IT'S SHIT!

Okay so yeah, scary and fun, whatever, but what happens when reality sets in, and you realise, actually, hang on a minute, you're fucked!  This is exactly what I'm feeling right now.  FUCKED.  And not in a good way, trust me.

I did a really stupid thing.  Really really stupid.  Or maybe not all that stupid.  Rambling again...apologies.  So my stupid thing?  I approached an agent without perfecting my manuscript.  (Thump head off desk in sheer annoyance at self).  So it's not that bad, honest!  In my opinion, it's only the very. very, very, very last proofread away from being perfect.  But I'm feeling a bit of a dick now, and wishing I hadn't been such an eager twat!

My first three chapters were gleaming so much a partially sighted person could see themselves as easy as a...em...fully sighted person. (WTF?) I just didn't bother with the rest of it.  I just really struggle to get motivated by edits!  I hate them!  More than I hate bananas or that twat off Channel 4 on the weekends that annoys me so much his face actually offends me.

So now I guess my panic is...what if the agent wants more of said manuscript?  Well, I dunno.  I'm trying not to be negative and think that they probably won't want a full copy, but hey, we all know the chances...I guess the bigger question is WHY THE FRIGGEN HECK AM I WRITING TO MY BLOG INSTEAD OF EDITING?!?!?!?!!? Can't help it.  Even in my state of bewildered panic I'm still managing to procrastinate.


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